Change Happens When You Decide You’ve Had Enough

Read any good books lately? There are some books I go back to over and over. One such book is the story of my life after abuse. It’s called “Abused! The Results, The Plan and the Victory.” Why do I revisit the past? It encourages me and brings tears of joy to my eyes. Why? Because I have victory over what once held me as a prisoner. The sting of those horrid moments has dissipated. 

On my journey I can’t help stopping and letting out a thank you; a praise and even a moment of worship. Isn’t that what we do when someone has done something for you, had a thought of you, a gift for you, a kindness for you?

I once thought I was being punished. I saw the darkness of life. I wondered would I ever be different. So when I am having a moment where I have taken my eyes off of what I have and put them on the challenges, the triggers, the wrong beliefs, I go back to those pages from my life to remind me that something good has come out of the ashes.

You can’t fix the mistakes of life. You can’t erase them. You can’t wish them away. You can’t pretend they never happen. You can’t keep sweeping the happenings of life that are unpleasant back under the carpet. Sooner or later the carpet will have no more space, or the carpet will be pulled up; then what?

The question is: would you like to change where you are? Would you like to stop hiding out, living in fear, feeling shame, and feeling hopeless? Are you willing to do whatever it takes to claim your freedom? 

That’s a tough one. It was for me. I didn’t know what my journey was going to entail but I was miserable doing what I was doing, living the way I was living. I lived in a guarded, protective bubble. . . sorry. . . I said “lived”. What I meant was I existed in the world but simply going through the motions, drifting along doing what I had to do, but never satisfied.

What about you? Where are you? Can you be honest with yourself, truly honest? Have you felt most of your life that something was wrong and you just didn’t know what it was? I understand. That was my life. You know what I have discovered, that I am not alone. There are many like me who are not living but existing, trying to find themselves, trying to make life count, trying to understand who they are.

Are you ready to take your journey?

Where are you in your life purpose? Have you experienced so many storms you can’t seem to pick up the pieces? Do you feel as if there is something missing, a hole in your heart? If you are ready to move on, lets schedule a time to talk. 

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Your Value and Purpose Is Not Determined By Circumstances

Are you facing something right now? Do you wish God would hurry up? Are you restless, impatient and maybe even a little anxious. . . Relax. There are times I too feel like that. God has me in this place, taking me step by step. I know it’s him, yet I I want to be there already, wherever there is.

Can I be honest? I do not like uncertainty: waiting, not knowing where or what I should be doing. I have been staring at these few words at least an hour. It’s not working. The words come and stop.

What’s on my mind? A few things. And at least one thing really came as a shock. Maybe that’s it. It’s too personal to even discuss here right now. . . I can’t.

In a moment of reflection I thought of the prophets of Baal that Elijah slew and in the height of his victory, how fear of one woman sent him into flight, into hiding.

Then my mind drifted to Daniel who was thrown into the Lion’s den because he refused to pray to the King. When his accusers returned, they found Daniel sitting with the Lions like they were pets.

Both had a task to do regardless of the moments of fear and uncertainty. He realized he was into something bigger than him, that he could not do anything on their own. In spite of what he faced, he trusted God.

Well, let me stop right there. I’ve done it again; put my foot in my mouth, and He did it again, convicted my heart. You know what He whispered in my ears: “I’m teaching you to rely solely on me.”

What more can I say? I was humbled by those words. My heart melted and I surrendered. Perhaps the question should be, “Lord, what do you want me to do right where I am?” 

Where are you in your life purpose? Have you experienced so many storms you can’t seem to pick up the pieces? Do you feel as if there is something missing, a hole in your heart? If you are ready to move on, lets schedule a time to talk.

“Bad” Experiences – What Purpose Do They Serve?

Stepping stone moments. . . Life is full of them. Just when we think we’ve settled in, or passed the test, feeling comfortable; it’s time to move on. The journey is not over yet.

What is your destiny? Are you prepared for it? How does your life experience, good and bad, fit into the picture? Can we be sure our life experiences have no place in our Godly purpose?

I think so. I believe our “bad” life experiences play a role in what God has planned for our lives. How is that? First, let me introduce you to a guy named Moses, a favorite Bible character of mine. We read about his life from beginning to end. He was to be killed as a child, rescued by the daughter of the man who wanted him dead; rescued from the water and given back to his biological mother to nurse him until he became of age. 

Returned to the daughter of the king, the one who wanted him dead; taught the ways of his enemy; ended up killing and had to flee in fear of being killed for what he did.

Let me ask you: what do you think Moses was thinking? Was his mind on becoming a great leader? I don’t think so. His mind was on saving his own skin, hiding out. Think about when you are going through something, aren’t you thinking about how you are going to just make it through? 

The Moses story reveals how God used a man who lacked self-confidence, who feared for his safety, who didn’t speak well, called by God but felt inadequate and unequipped to do the task. 

Is that you? Has God put something on your heart? Are you too feeling inadequate and unequipped to take action? Take the steps and watch what happens. Your past experiences have value. You may not be a Moses. His experiences may not be yours, but just like Moses had a purpose, you too have something to do that only you can do. 

Look how Moses started out. Today we read about his life experiences, but while he was going through he was just like us: had doubts, uncertainty, concerned about his social position, his biological family, but the task he was called to weigh heavily upon him.

Had you met Moses mother and she told her story, you might have had one of two reactions: “How could she have taken such a chance with her child, putting him in a basket on a river? Or what a loving woman to risk giving up her son to serve a greater good. She didn’t know what would happen. She tapped into that place of knowing that something good was going to come out of letting him go. She believed her son was in God’s hands. 

And he was… Moses led the children of Israel out of Egypt destined for the promise land.

Life happens. Is it possible our “Bad” experiences equip, train and strengthen us for a greater purpose? Are you viewing your “bad” experiences as stepping stones, or hindrances? 

“Father, we all have our moments when things don’t go quite so smooth. We ask you in those times to protect our hearts that we not become bitter and get stuck too long in that place, but whisper to us through your Holy Spirit words of encouragement and love so that we are moved to get back into the race.” 

Keep the faith

Where are you in your life purpose? Have you experienced so many storms you can’t seem to pick up the pieces? Do you feel as if there is something missing, a hole in your heart? If you are ready to move on, email us to schedule your 20-minute complimentary session. 

"Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones But Words Will Never Hurt Me"
How many times have you heard those words, or said them yourself? Is it true?
Have you ever been hurt by words, whether spoken, or written?
 

I have, and it broke my stride for just a moment.  I had a pity party, tried to pick myself up to get my engine going again. As a matter of fact, I got down right angry and wanted to retaliate, to take revenge on the person who dared say, or write those words that cut me, caused me to bleed.
 

Truth of the matter, you can dwell on those people and their words, written or spoken, or you can keep giving them power over you by rehashing those words over and over, or you can recognize what is happening, that the person was on assignment to attack you, derail you, slow down your progress--isn't that what those words did?
 

Or you can thank that person because without those words, written or spoken, you might would have grown complacent, or stalled in a spot and never moved on. They did it. They are not where you are. Accept it. Did they care how those words would affect you? Absolutely not!!!
 

So if they happen to arrive on a day when you weren't strong enough to handle them, Oh, Well, that's not their problem. They said what they had to say, with no regard to the fallout. Guess what they may have even twisted those words to justify their part, or they may have conveniently left out a part of the facts. It doesn't matter. The sooner you realize who you are dealing with, the less time you are going to spend chasing after your tail, or trying to diagnose right, or wrong, personality type. Stop wasting time.

If those words written or spoken was about something you were doing for them, that is all they care about. That is the type of people many continue to be. If you are going to succeed in this type of environment, you will have to react not with emotions, hurt feelings, discouragement, but know what you are up against, who they are and what their job is.

These people have come to help you to fulfill your dream, your purpose; they have come to make sure you don't rest on your laurels. That is their job. When you forget that, then hurt, disappointment and the pity party starts.

When your success is like a never-ending stream, those same ones will credit their deeds to helping to make you successful. Don't kid yourself, they did; can't you see?
You do not have to be torpedoed by such personality types, unless you choose to.

What matters most is staying focused on the prize. If your prize isn't clearly before you, look out, you will falter--sometimes you may stumble, even with a clear vision of your prize. It's okay. Adjust your position, regroup, take courage, refocus, GO!

The Success Driven Attitude: refusing to allow anything to hinder, sidetrack, or knock you off your path to purpose. This is where you see all effort has come to aide you in your success process.

You too can develop a Success Driven Attitude : Change how you see negative people, what they hurl your way. Look beyond their evil motives, see the bigger picture. Did you get angry? What did your angry state move you to do, or say? When you sort it out you will see, though these acts sabotaged your efforts, or pushed your buttons, you kept going. Are you better now than you were before? Are you stronger? Did you learn anything?

 

That is the key to getting where you want to go and having what you want to have. See the good in every bad thing that happens to you. 

Whatever Your Struggles, God’s Healing Power Is Greater!
by Blondie L. Clayton, Certified Biblical Counselor

Children were to be seen and not heard. Everyone was closed lip. Was it a dream? What really happened? My mother confirmed it: “It will be okay. Nothing to worry about. It’s behind you. The past is the past”.


At fourteen I had two boyfriends at the same time, then none until high school. That’s when I met Jim. We met through a friend. He was twenty-five and I was eighteen. He was good looking, dressed sporty casual, smooth talker, and had a job. Our relationship started out with an occasional date and then bloomed into what we believed to be love. We began talking about marriage.


We had been playing around, coming close but reminding each other of our commitment to wait; until one evening, in my last year of high school, getting ready to graduate, we decided to go all the way. Doubt and fear tormented me for weeks.
“What is wrong? I am supposed to be a virgin. Why was I so easy? What is he going to think?”


Before he got out of bed to realize what was happening, I went to the kitchen, poured some ketchup in my hand, and rubbed it on my private parts.
“I wonder if he thinks I have been lying to him?”
My first time out and I ended up pregnant and right after I said, “I do”, our marriage began to deteriorate. I had questions that couldn’t be answered. He wasn’t talking. I found myself alone on weekends while he hung out with his friends.
Loneliness, confusion, unanswered questions, and feelings of inadequacy drove me into the arms of another man, looking for love and wanting to be loved.


Trapped in this world of fantasy, make believe, pretense, in and out of the beds of men, masquerading, acting out their fantasies and mine, convinced by lust that I would always be the other woman, that there would never be one relationship, or a happy marriage.


Separation, divorce, unhappiness, hurting, feeling used and abused, questioning God: “Why don’t you just kill me? I can’t live like this”.
My hope had turned to a wall of ice until awakened one morning by this blaring voice coming from my television: “You’ve tried everything else, now, try God.”
I thought, “What does God have to do with this? I’m not good enough for God. I’m just a bad apple. No good.”

The next morning this same voice haunted me from the television: “You’ve tried everything else, try God.”
At that moment I kneeled in prayer: “God, I know I’m not worthy, but I need your help. Why am I the way I am? I don’t want to be this way but I can’t help myself.”


A great light began to shine on me, pointing out the secrets of my heart, questions and confused behavior rooted in childhood sexual abuse at the hands of a grandfather I adored and loved very much. I felt exposed. I couldn’t hide any more.


I said, “God, it is you. You know all about me. I thought I was all alone but you’ve been with me through it all.”
My heart grew lighter. I was ecstatic with joy. I felt free.
The moment grew more overwhelming, and then I heard these words: “Today, I give you back your value”.


As my soul danced with unspeakable joy for the first time ever, I heard myself say:
“Thank you, God, for your gift. Help me to share it with others that they too may recover their losses.”


My God sent husband passed away in 2018. We were married 34 years.  Our two sons are grown, raising their families. We worked through my past indiscretions, and my body was  re-dedicated to the Lord to be used in marriage for my husband’s pleasure.